I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
