just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
