Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
