I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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