"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
