Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
