I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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