I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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