In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
