I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
is it fun? or sober?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
