Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial

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(214): View more from Texas

come over

(1-214): View more from Texas

yeah sure

(1-214): View more from Texas

wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10

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(970): View more from Colorado

she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.

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(636): View more from Missouri

hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?

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(510): View more from California

Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed

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(914): View more from New York

Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.

(1-701): View more from North Dakota

Jesus, are you hammered?

(701): View more from North Dakota

Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.

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(912): View more from Georgia

I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.

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(801): View more from Utah

He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.

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