Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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