Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
