The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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