So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
