We named our party play list daddy issues
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
