things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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