When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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