What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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