I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
