we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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