i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
