i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
