That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
