Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
