I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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