So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
