once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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