umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
