The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
