she was so not down for the gang bang
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
