i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize