remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my being single is dangerous.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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