Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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