I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
