I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
