what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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