Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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