summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
