It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize