We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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