hotel room ftw
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
