dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
