You're so nebulous sometimes
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
