thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
