If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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