I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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