I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So much rum. So many feels.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My vagina is very pro this idea
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize