I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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