so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
