its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
