he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
