If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i think my cat just said my name.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
