Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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