I hate all girls vehemently.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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