i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
