Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
