Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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