you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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