He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
